Successful potty training for girls

Wait for the right moment
The key to potty-training success is starting only when your daughter is ready. While some children can start as young as 18 months, others may not be prepared to learn until well into their fourth year. Lucky for you, girls tend to potty train faster than boys. And second or third children almost always learn earlier than their first-born siblings. There's no point trying to get a head start: studies show that when parents begin potty training before a child is physically or emotionally ready, the process simply takes longer to complete. In other words, you arrive at your destination at the same time, no matter when you start. So the first thing to do is use our checklist to see whether your daughter is primed for potty training. Once you've decided that your daughter is ready, focus on timing. Make sure your child's routine is well established; if she's just started at nursery or has a new sibling, she may be less receptive to change or feel too overwhelmed to tackle this new challenge. Avoid periods when her natural toddler resistance is high, and wait until she seems open to new ideas.

Let her watch and learn.
Don't be coy about using the toilet in front of your daughter. Toddlers learn by imitation, and watching you use the toilet is a natural first step in potty training. Don't make a point of taking her with you, but if she wants to follow you to the bathroom when you have a wee, let her. She may notice that Daddy stands up to use the toilet, which opens up a great opportunity for you to explain how boys and girls use a toilet differently

Buy the right equipment
Most experts advise buying a potty, which your toddler can feel is her own and which will also feel more secure to her than a full-size toilet. (Some tots are scared of falling into the toilet, and their anxiety can interfere with toilet training.) If you prefer to buy an adapter, or training, seat to fit on top of your toilet seat, make sure it feels comfy and secure and attaches firmly. If you decide to do this, you'll also need to provide your daughter with a stool. Since it's important that she is able to climb on and off the seat easily any time she needs to go and also stabilize herself with her feet while she's sitting on it. You may also want to pick up a few picture books or videos about potty training for your daughter, which can make it easier for her to take in all this new information.

Help your child get comfortable with the potty
This early in the process, your child needs to get used to the idea of using the potty. Start by letting her know that the potty, or potty chair, is her very own; you can personalise it by writing her name on it or letting her decorate it with stickers. Then have her try sitting on it with her clothes on. After she's practised this way a few times, you can suggest she try it with her nappy off. If she seems at all resistant, avoid any temptation to pressure her. That will only set up a power struggle that could derail the entire process. If your child has a favourite doll or stuffed animal, try using it for potty demonstrations. Most children enjoy watching their favourite toy go through the motions, and may learn more this way than from you telling them what to do. Some parents even construct a makeshift toilet for the doll or stuffed animal; while your child is perched on her potty, her favourite toy can be sitting on its own potty, too. For other parents' tips on how to get started, click here.

Motivate with cool underwear
Get your daughter focused on the benefits of being potty-trained by taking her on a special errand: buying pants. Let her know that she gets to choose whatever kind she wants (underwear festooned with a favourite cartoon or TV character is usually a big hit). Talk up the outing ahead of time so she gets excited about being old enough to use the potty and wear underwear just like mummy's or her big sister's.

Set up a training schedule
Getting your toddler out of nappies will depend on your daily schedule and on whether your daughter has other carers, such as a childminder. If she does, you'll want to coordinate your potty-training strategy with her. You'll have to decide whether to use the back-and-forth method of switching between nappies and pants or the cold-turkey method of putting her in pants full-time. Some experts recommend making the move to pull-ups, which are essentially like nappies, but can be pulled up and down like pants. But others say it's best to go straight into underwear or even washable cloth training pants, both of which will allow your daughter to feel immediately when she's wet. That, of course, will make it more likely that you'll be cleaning up some accidents. You'll have to decide what's best for you and your child; if you're having problems deciding how to go about it, your health visitor will be happy to advise you. For a while at least, you'll want to carry on using nappies at night and on long trips out and about.

Teach her to sit and wipe
One of the most important things you'll need to teach your daughter is how to wipe properly. Explain that she needs to make sure she moves the toilet paper from front to back, especially when she has a poo, to avoid spreading bacteria from her bowel to her vagina and urethra. If this seems too complicated for her to grasp, teach her to pat herself dry after wees until she's old enough to understand. Bladder infections, while not common, seem to be more likely in girls around the time of toilet training. If your daughter needs to urinate frequently or feels a sudden need to go, says it hurts, complains of abdominal pain, or starts to wet her pants after having established good bladder control, call her doctor and have it checked out.

Set aside some naked time
Nothing helps your toddler work out when she needs to go like letting her spend some time bottomless. Put the potty within easy reach while she plays, and encourage her to sit on it now and again. Watch for signs that she has to go (hopping from one foot to another, holding her hand between her legs and so on), then suggest it's potty time. You can do this on several consecutive days, in the evenings when the family is all together, or just at weekends. The more time your child spends out of nappies, the faster she'll learn.

Celebrate her successes
She will undoubtedly have a few accidents, but eventually your daughter will get something into her potty. This is the time to make a big fuss of her. Reinforce the idea that she's reached a significant milestone by rewarding her with a 'big girl' privilege, such as watching a new video or getting an extra bedtime story. But try not to make a big deal of every trip to the potty or else your child will start to feel nervous and self-conscious under the glare of all that attention.

If at first she doesn't succeed, try, try again
As with any other skill, the more she uses the potty, the better she'll be at it. But there are some things you can do to make it easier for her. Dress your child in loose-fitting clothes that she can easily take off. If she still has trouble with the concept, don't overreact or punish. Nothing can disrupt potty training faster than making a child feel bad for having an accident. (For more on how to handle accidents, click here) Bear in mind that even children who have used the toilet successfully for months occasionally have accidents when they are engrossed in another activity. If you feel frustrated, remind yourself that scolding her for wetting her pants will only delay potty training.

Offer her incentives
If your child starts to lose interest when she's well into potty training, you may want to consider offering rewards. One popular method is to use stickers and a calendar to keep track of her successes. Every time she goes in her potty, she gets to paste a sticker of her choice on the page. Watching the sticker bounty accumulate will keep her inspired. If the stickers themselves aren't enough of a thrill, you can offer an additional reward such as a treat from the sweetie section at the supermarket or a longed-for toy when she collects enough stickers or stays dry for a certain number of days in a row.

Getting her dry at night
Once your daughter gets the hang of using her potty or the toilet during the day, you're ready to move into the next phase. Wait until she's securely potty trained, then start checking her nappies in the mornings and after naps to see whether they're dry. Many children start staying dry during their afternoon naps within about six months of learning to use the toilet. Nighttime training is trickier, because it depends on her body being able to hold the urine for an extended period of time and how deeply she sleeps. If she wants to try sleeping without nappies, go ahead and let her. If, after a few nights, she's clearly not ready to stay dry, put her back in nappies in a non-judgmental way. Tell her that her body is not quite able to tackle this next step, and reassure her that she'll soon be big enough to try again. If your child stays dry three out of five nights, grit your teeth and go for it. Support her attempts to stay dry by restricting how much she drinks after 5pm and getting her up and sitting her on her potty or the toilet before you go to bed.

Ditch the nappies
By the time your child's ready to say goodbye to nappies for good, she's accomplished a lot. Acknowledge this and reinforce her pride in her achievement by letting her give away her leftover nappies to a family with younger children, or by packing up the cloth nappies and sending them away with the nappy delivery service one last time.